go

the summer of age eighteen.  it seems like it was only yesterday and i was enjoying my summer of age seventeen. hopping rivers and tracking down snakes. now, things have changed substantially.  i've been working from sun up till sun down most days.  i have taken on new activities like biking, running, swimming, reading, and camping.  i have not spent many days with old friends.  i am about to leave.  i am about to change everything. i am twitching for the change to come sooner.  pushing time seems to be the only way we can have a hold on it.  push, push, push.  plan, plan, plan. stuff your days with deadlines. we can push time forward, but we cannot grab it and stop it.  there's no going back.   i say that time is slipping out of my hands like a train and i cannot stop it, then I turn around and push the train faster, trying my hand at control. 

i am dependent on God for the money i need for college, the friends i need to encourage and keep me company, and the direction that i am to go in.  

right now the plan is to go as hard and as fast as i can, learning everything i can from anyone i can, doing anything i can in different countries, languages, environments, from blue collar jobs to careers to hobbies like mountain climbing, hunting, fishing, mountain biking, canoeing, snowboarding, and gardening, from peaceful meditation to neck-snapping karate moves, find a woman, a real woman picked like a berry from God's favorite wilderness, take her with me, keep going, keep going, different lifestyles, different music, different food until i have to settle down, stay in one place as i teach my children what is good and noble and pure and praiseworthy, get a job that pays well, spend less than i make, live simply, until the kids are in college, then i will pick back up and write some new songs, give my kids the majority of my money, and become like them in my dependence once more, and all the while write about it, write my butt off about the hedonistic nature of God, the overwhelming love of Christ, the blood and fire of youth, the testosterone and estrogen of marriage, the mistakes of parenting, the fulfilling of dreams, the serving of others, the simplicity of abundant life, and i will spend myself on love, love for people, my wife, my children, my God until the First and the Last says Stop. 

Earth smells like you

there is a distinct community nestled in the nooks and crannies of downtown atlanta. i love these people, and i love their pads, but they are always trying to get me to come to their place while i am drawing them out to the places where words are drawn out. atlanta is good and all, but i find myself losing myself in pretending that i'm not myself when i find myself lost in atlanta. wrap yourself around that one. sitting in another posture is fine too, even getting lost in one, but i'd rather be lost in the demeanor undetermined by the approval of 14-year-old girls pretending to be 21, and frowning at anyone that doesn't smoke with them. i'd rather be lost in the person that is nature warmed over, rather than human relation chilled dead.

just got back from the upper chattahoochee river campgrounds past helen, and it already seems like a dream. the fog in the morning that repelled the sunlight, the dark evergreens that smelled like christmas: slide across the floor on your long socks, christmas morning. the weakened chattahoochee river that tickled the smooth stones, that made the primitive site that we chose and which retreated from the road, dropping twenty feet in elevation, drop twenty degrees in temperature.

i took these few shots of time and space to remember:

and i decided to write a poem. which i haven't done in over 6 months. so don't expect much.

Upper Chattahoochee

The twang of Brown, like salt and pepper

basil and exotic spice, right here

Sweet earth infects me like incense

emitting poison, just the right bite 

The Christmas tree showing her true color

overtaking my deepest anxiety 

Brings Christmas morning, slide across the floor

Socks on hardwood, warm

Dark bark roughest scratch, scratching my ankles 

Deep green thud, on my soul

On my soul, I found years of inhaling earth

On my lungs, I found years of spiritual damage

AWOL on my body, just for a moment 

To let the trees speak

To hear the Chattahooch pick 

Some kinda trick

So cold, I feel the spirit chill my bones

My toes retreat from the river

A stone in my palm wont fit in my mouth

I cannot pocket the beauty

Longing like a downhill run

the haunt of evergreen

And the sadness of silence

makes me long for the warmth of a woman

Honey bees

This is a honey bee. My friend Zach (who I landscape with) is an animal lover. He told me that he finds himself going out of his way to save all kinds of life forms from stopping the landscaping truck to let a squirrel pass to guiding a lost ladybug back to a nearby plant. Today we talked about the honey bee. 

(Before I tell you this, I must mark that Zach is one of the most manly men that I know, can grow a beard, can flex his pecs, and likes women a lot). He told me that he saw a wondering honey bee on his front porch one afternoon looking for something sweet. Zach ran inside, scrambled through the cabinets, and his face exclaimed "Eureka!" as he palmed the nearly full honey jar in the shape of a friendly bear which made the honey look much richer. He stumbled over the proceeding doormat which read "Welcome," and carefully grasped the honey bear with his left hand as well as his right and held it far in front of him. To his delight, the honey bee was still meandering along the wall that supported the front porch. The mailman who had been stationary at the neighbor's mailbox suddenly threw the box-car into gear and roared down the street. Zach looked up quickly, startled. Zach's eyes drifted across the front yard, blown by the wind and carried off far down the street. A buzz buzz buzz drew him back in an instant as the weak honey bee punched at the cracked white paint beneath the American flag, still flapping in the wind. Zach quickly popped the honey bear's hat off and squeezed a bee-size honey drop on the wooden porch. He stood back and watched with a big grin, hands on his hips, mouth closed but grinning. Until his eyes were blown by the wind again off far down the road. Leaves danced down the street, some of them trying to take flight. Buzz! The sound punctured the natural quietness and faded as the honey bee eloped with the prize in his belly. "Well how do you like that? Not even a thank you?" said Zach. 

The end. 

He said something along those lines. After he told me this, I began to wonder: maybe I've seen under the table with these creatures. Maybe it isn't that the honey bee is ungrateful but that he expects the honey, he expects the provision. And as small as that may seem to you, it is big to me. Because I know that all of creation is already worshipping like we will be on That Day in the Future. The trees have no option, the fleas have no option, the honey bees have no option. Only we, the prideful few, have the option to deny God our willful praise. 

Okay that's it for today.  I know I haven't blogged in a hundred years. Or one year. Inspiration is a season, and maybe this is the first day. And maybe not. 

But when I was looking for a honeybee picture, I found this information about honey and cinnamon that I loved. I've known this stuff for a little while thanks to my Herbs Book but it was refreshing to re-read this information.  So here:

It is found that mixture of Honey and Cinnamon cures most of the diseases. Honey is produced in most of the countries of the world. Honey has been used as a vital medicine for centuries. Scientists of today also accept honey as a very effective medicine for all kinds of diseases. Honey can be used without any side effects for any kind of diseases. Today’s science says that even though honey is sweet, if taken in the right dosage as a medicine, it does not harm diabetic patients also. Here we present a list of diseases that can be cured by Honey and Cinnamon as researched by western scientists.

Arthritis
Take one part honey to two parts of lukewarm water and add a small teaspoon of cinnamon powder, make a paste and massage it on the itching part of the body slowly. It is noticed that the pain recedes within a minute or two. Or arthritis patients may daily, morning and night take one cup of hot water with two spoons of honey and one small teaspoon of cinnamon powder. If drunk regularly even chronic arthritis can be cured. In a recent research done at the Copenhagen University, it was found that when the doctors treated their patients with a mixture of one tablespoon Honey and half teaspoon cinnamon powder before breakfast, they found that within a week out of the 200 people so treated practically 73 patients were totally relieved of pain and within a month, mostly all the patients who could not walk or move around because of arthritis started walking without pain.

Hair Loss
Those suffering from hair loss or baldness, may apply a paste of hot olive oil, one tablespoon of honey, one teaspoon of cinnamon powder before bath and keep it for approx. 15 min. and then wash the hair. It was found to be very effective.

Bladder Infections
Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in a glass of luke warm water and drink it. It destroys the germs of the bladder.

Toothache
Make a paste of one teaspoon of cinnamon powder and five teaspoons of honey and apply on the aching tooth. This may be done 3 times a day daily till such time that the tooth has stopped aching.

Cholesterol
Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of Cinnamon Powder mixed in 16 ounces of tea water, if given to a cholesterol patient, it reduces the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10% within 2 hours. As mentioned for arthritic patients, if taken 3 times a day any chronic cholesterol is cured. As per the information received in the said journal, pure honey taken with food daily relieves complains of cholesterol.

Cold and Cough
Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon lukewarm honey with 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon powder daily for 3 days. This process will cure most chronic cough, cold and clear the sinuses.

Infertility
Since ancient times, it is commonly known, that the use of honey strengthens the semen of men. If impotent men regularly take two tablespoon of honey before sleeping, their problem will be solved. In China, Japan and Far-East countries, women who do not conceive and to strengthen the uterus have been taking cinnamon powder for centuries. Women who cannot conceive may take a pinch of cinnamon powder in half teaspoon of honey and apply it on the gums frequently throughout the day, so that it slowly mixes with the saliva and enters the body.

Upset Stomach
Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomach ache and also clears stomach ulcers from the root.

Gas
According to the studies done in India & Japan, it is revealed that if honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is relieved of gas.

Heart Diseases
Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply on bread instead of jelly and jam and eat it regularly for breakfast. It reduces the cholesterol in the arteries and saves the patient from heart attack. Also those who have already had an attack, if they do this process daily, are kept miles away from the next attack. Regular use of the above process relieves loss of breath and strengthens the heartbeat.

Immune System
Daily use of honey and cinnamon powder strengthens the immune system and protects the body from bacteria and viral attacks. Scientists have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large amounts. Constant use of honey strengthens the white blood corpuscles to fight bacteria and viral diseases.

Indigestion
Cinnamon powder sprinkled on two tablespoons of honey taken before food, relieves acidity and digests the heaviest of meals.

Influenza
It has been proved that honey contains a natural ingredient, which kills the influenza germs and saves the patient from flu. Longevity Tea made with honey and cinnamon powder, when taken regularly arrests the ravages of old age. Take 4 spoons of honey, 1 spoon of cinnamon powder and 3 cups of water and boil to make like tea. Drink 1/4 cup, 3 to 4 times a day. It keeps the skin fresh and soft and arrests old age. Life span also increases and even if a person is 100 years old, starts performing the chores of a 20 year old.

Pimples
Three tablespoons of honey and one teaspoon of cinnamon powder paste. Apply this paste on the pimples before sleeping and wash it next morning with warm water. If done daily for two weeks, it removes pimples completely.

Skin Infections
Eczema, ringworm and all types of skin infections are cured by applying honey and cinnamon powder in equal parts on the affected parts.

Weight Loss
Daily in the morning, 1/2 hour before breakfast on an empty stomach and at night before sleeping, drink honey and cinnamon powder boiled in one cup water. If taken regularly it reduces the weight of even the most obese person. Also drinking of this mixture regularly does not allow the fat to accumulate in the body even though the person may eat a high calorie diet.

Recent research has revealed that advanced cancer of the stomach and bones have been cured successfully. Patients suffering from these kinds of cancer should daily take one tablespoon of honey with one teaspoon of cinnamon powder for one month 3 times a day. Recent studies have shown that the sugar content of honey is more helpful than detrimental to the body strength. Senior citizens who take honey and cinnamon power in equal parts are more alert and flexible. It is said that half tablespoon honey taken in one glass of water and sprinkled with cinnamon powder, taken daily after brushing and in the afternoon at about 3.00 p.m. when the vitality of the body starts decreasing, increases the vitality of the body within a week.

Bad Breath
People of South America, first thing in the morning gargle with one teaspoon of honey and cinnamon powder mixed in hot water. So their breath stays fresh throughout the day.

-thesymbioticapparat.us/

Jesse

The kin(g) g(oes)

My day is barking
full of eating eats
My night is a meow
full of drunks sure to drown
Click (Click)
The king goes
Click (Click)
The king goes!
My ears are worried weary
messengers sure of every sound
the king makes
But my heart interrupts
to say "I know this
I know these things"
No one knows what I tell
or what I sing
My day is barking
and my night, a meow

nut

You might be walking through the woods and suddenly spot something shiny, but when you arrive at the item, you discover it's a humble nut. I'm a humble nut. But if others see me glistening and shining, it is surely the sun upon my back and not my own brilliance that has been spotted. Basically, I've been shaped through interactions with people, mirrors, and God the Father to shine even though I am made of flesh. If anything is worth reporting about my existence, it is that the ever-so-real Great Spirit glistens on me and my produce.

well, well

is fall close to your heart?
change and pain and beauty?









pleasure salty and sweet.
i am aware that the topic could potentially be rated "r", even "x", seeing that i am writing about humans and their desires. do you know the pleasure in a pretzel covered with chocolate and on the other hand, salt? what about being warm while it's snowing on the other side of the wall? or just the right sensation between "tickle" and "itch." this is my salty versus sweet experience. you probably know it.

consider this with me. God is the music and we are eardrums. his voice sends us vibrating in sinc. heck, even his breath. most of the time his breath. his intimate breaths on us are translated into tiny frequencies with tiny crests and troughs in the waves. the crest is sweet and the trough is salty. the crest is on the brink of "tickle." and the trough on the brink of "pain." and our bodies and spirits vibrate to His sweet and salty song.

consider this. God screams. not like a man who's been shot in the arm, nor like a woman who's just been scared out of her mind, but like a man who's been shot in the arm and like a woman who's just stepped on a snake together. look at the frequency. it goes higher and lower than any human ear. our eardrums are insufficient to catch the vibrations.


i dunno just a thought.

where does Jesus come in?
you tell me.

Ol' Friend.

Autumn approaches. I am driving through town. The sky is dark and my windshield patters with one of the last summer rains. I spot the first few leaves to fall as they dance like naturals in mellow and heavy change. The feel is a fat and round hum. The Ablum Leaf skipping through the background. A roue, I feel. A roue of God and His fingers moving through my soup. The trees are luminous in the dynamic light like a maiden in the morning sun, golden locks streaming and teeming; my eyes are cloudy as my fingertips aspire to touch that leaf on the corner. Alone, I consume my dollar fifty blueberry pie ice cream in a cone, one scoop. Alone, I feel so real I could touch myself as someone else. Alone, content, silent, sacred. Vulgarity bubbling away like sulfur. At 4:44 PM, I think it was wine. At 4:45, I think is was milk. At 5:02 AM, I know it was orange juice. The cellos shave away, the crickets salt away, the leaves fall away this night on the other side of my bedroom wall.